Chapter 285: Hastings Style (K6)

Chapter 284 Hastings Style (5K6)

In the office, Arthur looked at Disraeli, who was lying on all fours on the couch, breathing heavily, and calmly sipped his tea.

He put down the teacup and spoke, ”What’s wrong with you? Isn’t it just doing moral persuasion? When people look at you like this, those who don’t know would think that you’ve been taking care of the ladies’ business for a month straight.”

Disraeli tilted his head back and looked at the sky, muttering, “A month in a row? Arthur, you kinda look down on me. If I really want me to do that, I’d rather just give the money and skip the follow-up service. After all, just dealing with Mrs. Sykes has already exhausted me.”

“Hmm?”

Arthur picked up a small cookie from the snack box on the table, “It seems that Mrs. Sykes’ purpose of approaching you really isn’t too pure ah ……”

Disraeli smiled and smoothed his collar as he squared his shoulders, “Arthur, Mrs. Sykes and I haven’t progressed to the level you think we have.”

Arthur brought a cookie into his mouth and spoke with one arm resting on the back of his chair, “Benjamin, don’t get me wrong, I was just complimenting you on your charm.”

Disraeli smiled wryly, “Arthur, it’s not just me that’s attractive, you’re the same. As we all know, outstanding men will always attract the ladies’ attention. I haven’t heard your name from the mouths of the ladies at the banquet.”

“Wow? Is that so?” Arthur asked, “Why did you discuss about me with the ladies when you attended the banquet? From what I understand, this behavior is not common sense.”

Disraeli asked, “What common sense?”

Arthur took out his handkerchief and wiped the cookie crumbs on his hand, “As far as I know, when dealing with gender relations, men usually think with their lower bodies. Benjamin, although we are good friends, I don’t believe that you can still remember to work for the welfare of your friends when you are thinking with your lower body. Of course, if you do think about it, then I think I’d better stay away from you.”

Disraeli sniffed and retorted, “Damn! Arthur, what do you think of me! I’m not Elder, and while I love this affair with Mrs. Sykes, I haven’t fallen to the level you’re talking about. I kept a very clear head while I was involved with her!”

“Is that so?” Arthur said as he took a sip of his tea, “Then I’m afraid I think Mrs. Sykes is about to fall into your hands.”

Disraeli frowned, “Why do you say that?”

Arthur spoke, “Mrs. Sykes has a crush on you, and you are very close to each other, but on the other hand, you are keeping your mind unusually clear. This shows that this love you are giving her is actually feigned. A certain friend of Alexander’s said:A feigned love is actually more perfect than a real one, and that’s why so many women are deceived. That’s why I was certain that Mrs. Sykes would fall into your hands. No wonder she recommended you so highly to the Earl of Lyndhurst, Benjamin, she was enamored of you.”

Disraeli asked, “Why don’t you simply just say that the words were yours? And pull that Alexander’s friend said it with me. Arthur, you don’t have to beat around the bush if you want to flirt with me.”

Arthur innocently shrugged his shoulders, “Benjamin, I really didn’t say that.”

“Then who said it?”

“Honoré de Balzac. That said, his ‘The Human Comedy’ is pretty good. If you want to borrow it, you can open your mouth to Alexandre, who has a copy in French. You could borrow that book to share with Mrs. Sykes, and incidentally have her teach you French; upper-class ladies usually speak French well, and it’s a lot safer than learning Polish.”

“Polish?” Disraeli grinned, “That would indeed be too risky, but learning Polish has its perks, namely being in The Times, something that many politicians beg for!”

Arthur lifted his spoon and stirred his cup of black tea, “Shall I set you up then?”

“Thank you for your kindness, but I don’t think there’s any need to make a big deal out of something like foreign language study.” Disraeli wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead, “Besides, like I said, just dealing with Mrs. Sykes is enough to wear me out.”

“What do you usually do with her?”

“Wow, that’s a long story.”

Disraeli counted on his fingers, “Mrs. Sykes has a wide range of interests, and she’s curious about everything, especially new things that haven’t been around for long. Whenever she has free time, she will ask me to go out to various places to seek excitement. In the last month, I have accompanied her to the Royal Society for a lecture and to the Tower of London for a shady breeze. I’ve accompanied her to buy a multitude of gadgets of unknown function in the various luxury stores of Regent Street, which, Arthur, you know, is always a place where you can find something new and exciting.”

As soon as Arthur heard this, he suddenly remembered what had happened to him and Disraeli when they had gone to Regent Street earlier to investigate the perfume stores, and he spoke up, “Let’s hope Mrs. Sykes hasn’t been buying lipstick in Regent Street lately, or else she might get into trouble.”

Disraeli asked, “What’s wrong? Have the followers of St. Jerome been preaching the same old thing lately? That wearing lipstick is an act against God because it alters a woman’s appearance? Come on, I’m almost tired of hearing that line.”

Arthur shook his head and spoke without irony, “No, none of that. It’s because last week the local magistrate’s court in Westminster nearly sat a case out with the Lipstick Act, enacted in 1770.”

Disraeli recalled, “The Lipstick Act? I think I’ve heard of that, but I don’t think the act banned the sale of lipstick, did it?”

“The Lipstick Act is a lot worse than banning the sale of lipstick.”

Arthur pulled a copy from the pile of papers on his desk, opened the document and pointed to the top line and read, “The bill provides that all women, regardless of age, rank, profession or education, whether virgins, maids or widows, from the date of the enactment of this Act, shall, by means of scents, paints, and cosmetics, compel, entice, and betray into marriage any of His Majesty’s subjects. shall be liable to the penalties prescribed by the laws in force for witchcraft and similar misdemeanors, and their marriages shall, on conviction, be null and void.”

Saying this, Arthur closed the document and threw it aside and spoke, “To say that Judge Norton is also good enough to go through this sixty-odd years old bill. Luckily, it’s not the Middle Ages anymore, or else with this Lipstick Act, he could have brought up a witchcraft charge along with it, and incidentally burned the prisoner on a woodpile. Not only that, he also brought up in court the laws of ancient Greece, saying that only Greek prostitutes wore lipstick as a mark of identification, which was a sign of moral turpitude, and tried to use this as a pretext to continue to give the defendant more jail time. If you ask me, he’s just crazy for trying to punch up his political record, he’s really using every trick in the book.”

Disraeli waved his hand at his words and said, “Who did I think it was, it turned out to be Norton, this idiot. Didn’t I tell you about it? He was like this when he and I were classmates at the Lincoln Lawyer’s Hall, unimpressed, vindictive, and without any temperament, he would sell out his own parents and brothers for a small profit. A prisoner who has nothing to do with him, he certainly has even less mental pressure to solve a case.”

Disraeli only assumed that Arthur was angry because Norton had broken the case by his nature, but he did not know the specifics of the situation.

The reason why Arthur was going to fight hard against Judge Norton and the Westminster court in this case was partly because he felt that the sentence was too severe, and partly because the defendant in this case was none other than Mr. Bernie Harrison’s Polish ‘teacher,’ Defina, the youngest sister under Fiona’s management.

Although Bernie Harrison had had to resign his seat as MP because of the whoring scandal, De Fina had also been prosecuted by the Westminster Magistrates’ Court, which had brought in several of De Fina’s former benefactors from who knows where, who had accused De Fina of stealing their possessions, and of committing injurious acts of whipping, and of intentionally seducing them into marrying her.

But Scotland Yard is obviously not going to stand by and watch this beautiful lady, who has just done so much for the Greater London Constabulary, in such a predicament.

In order to help De Fina win in court, Scotland Yard used special funds to privately hire an experienced and well-known London lawyer as her defense, coupled with the continued fermentation of the Harrison incident at the time made the public opinion also stood on the side of the De Fina, and Judge Norton cited a variety of laws is really too outrageous, so the jury finally ruled that De Fina acquitted.

But although the court released the person, but this Scotland Yard and the sheriff’s court of the beam is a kind of knot.

Or more accurately, Mr. Norton and Scotland Yard’s relationship is now settled. Because Arthur knew with his buttocks, Westminster Magistrates’ Court could not have nothing to do to get De Fina to go through the courtroom, this is in all likelihood the idea of Mr. Bernie Harrison’s good friend, Judge George Norton.

This fellow, who had risen to the position of judge only through his wife’s nepotism, after assisting Bernie Harrison in setting up Scotland Yard, and I don’t know whether it was out of anger or fear, didn’t wait for Scotland Yard to come to him, but instead rushed at Ms. Delfina, who had gotten Harrison into the mire, to take the lead in the fight. But from this incident, it could also be seen that Norton had become a little sick and anxious, and there must be something more contained in that case between him and Harrison. Therefore, Arthur was not in a hurry to find his trouble, with Norton’s temperament most likely to make something more out of himself.

Arthur was pondering over this matter when he suddenly heard Disraeli, who was sitting across from him, speak up, “Arthur, when I dined out with Lionel last night, he talked to me a little bit about that fencing match between you and Bertrand.”

“Hmm?” Arthur asked as he leaned back in his chair, “What did Lionel say?”

Disraeli replied back, “Lionel sees no problem at all with including a concert in the fencing match, and even if you hadn’t mentioned it, he was planning to include some extra programs to build up to the match. After all, almost all the theaters in London only accept all-day packages, and since the fencing match will be over in ten minutes or so at the most, it would be uneconomical to waste the remaining five hours of the nightly performance.

And considering the special nature of the fencing competition, Lionel intended to arrange the competition in the Astley Amphitheatre on the south bank of the Thames, you should know it, it is a circus and war drama theater, in order to better present the war and siege scenes, they built the theater into a round semi-open-air style, like the ancient Roman Coliseum. As you probably guessed, Lionel is going to package both you and Bertrand, and we’ll have a whole Roman-themed duel too, like Spartacus.”

Arthur couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows three times when he heard this, “What do you mean? You guys are going to put us both up against two crocodiles or lions before Bertrand and I start fighting?”

Disraeli laughed out loud at this, “It doesn’t have to be that realistic. After all, if everything were real, we’d not only have to put up a couple of lions, we’d also have to present the scene of you two being summoned by a noblewoman, and the audience shouldn’t be able to afford to do that with the Parisian Swordsman and Wellington of Scotland Yard for the ticket money they’re shelling out. A couple of shouts of ‘We are free’ from you two to get the audience going should be about right.”

Arthur frowned as he leaned back in his chair and asked, “Benjamin, is this a sword fight between Bertrand and I or the WWE?”

“WWE?” wondered Disraeli, “What’s that?”

Arthur returned, “It’s when you put two young, strong lads inside an octagon and put on a show.”

“An octagon cage?” Disraeli mulled it over for a moment, “Arthur, you really don’t say, that might be a good idea.”

Arthur asked, “Are you still going to have us both prepare some props?”

Disraeli was full of himself, “Wouldn’t you have prepared it even if I hadn’t mentioned it?”

Arthur sipped his tea, “Benjamin, this is top secret. And I think there’s a chance that having the cage as a barrier will affect the trajectory of the bullets flying out of the audience too.”

Disraeli stood up and pressed against the coffee table, arguing with reason, “Arthur, are you distrusting Alexander’s marksmanship? He’s a fucking French artilleryman!”

Arthur shook his head gently, “It’s not that I don’t trust Alexander, I don’t trust you. Have you forgotten that amazing shooting exercise you did yesterday? One shot, the target was fine, and an eagle fell from the sky. Let’s hope you don’t hit Jesus or God on match day, or this isn’t something that can be explained away with a ‘We are free’.”

Agares, who was leaning back on the couch, just yawned when he heard this, “Hit Jesus? Why do the Jews always do that kind of thing? Times have changed though, and nails turning into bullets seems pretty reasonable.”

Disraeli was still undeterred, “Arthur, seriously, think about it. You have the audacity to schedule Mr. Chopin’s piano debut after the fencing competition, isn’t that enough to show your confidence of certain victory? I don’t believe that you really went to the duel with Mr. Bertrand with the determination of certain death, you must still have some secret weapon I don’t know that you haven’t revealed, am I right?”

Seeing how insistent he was, Arthur just reached out his hand and rubbed his fingers together at Mr. Prime Minister.

Seeing this posture of his, Disraeli only gritted his teeth and cried out in pain, “Fine, raise the money, raise the money isn’t it! I’ll go back and discuss the share ratio with Lionel, although Lionel and I are the organizer and financier of the match, but you’ve at least put your life on the line, I’ll have to fight high and low to get another half a percent of the gate receipts for my old buddy.”

Hearing this, Arthur nodded slightly and said, “Now that you’ve said that, it would be petty of me to continue to disagree with the cage set. However, I think that the cage set alone is still not enough, for the audience, such sensory stimulation is still far from enough.”

“So your lower limit can go even lower?” Disraeli’s handkerchief, which was wiping away beads of sweat, suddenly stopped, and he fiercely slammed it on the coffee table, “Fuck, I knew you guys would be a sure win this time.”

Arthur spoke, “Do you still want to make this tournament more successful or not.”

“Of course I do.” Disraeli asked, “Arthur, feel free to speak up if you have any brilliant ideas. Lionel has already put down a lot of money on this tournament anyway, so he shouldn’t care if he has to write off one more expense.”

Arthur took out a copy of the Journal of the Royal Society from his desk drawer and spoke, “As you all know, I am a researcher in the field of electromagnetism. Therefore, I think it makes sense to add a bit of electromagnetism to the duel. Especially in the starry London night, releasing a few electric lights together with the thick smoke, the stage performance effect is absolutely outstanding.”

Hearing this, Disraeli was also somewhat shocked by Arthur, he froze for a moment and opened his mouth to ask, “So your trick is to kill Bertrand with lightning? But I have to say, your idea does sound good, but the crux of the matter is, how are we going to convince Zeus and Odin? Do you know them well?”

Hearing this, the yawning Agares scratched his chin and said, “I do have a bit of access, it’s just that I don’t have a high success rate, and I’m afraid that you won’t be able to afford the cost. But on second thought, it’s no big deal, Arthur, isn’t there a Jew here? If they weren’t reluctant, you could have your good friend Benjamin nail them to the octagon.”

Arthur glanced at the Red Devil and spoke, “Benjamin, there’s no need to invite Zeus and Odin. It’s just a few flashes of lightning, it’s enough for us to invite Mr. Faraday. He has quite a few cutting-edge discharge rods and hand-cranked generators there, and on the day of the match you’ll get a few more large iron rods, which together will be enough to create a splendid stage effect, and I guarantee you that the audience will be amazed.”

“Is it really that amazing?”

Disraeli was skeptical of Arthur’s words, but he didn’t directly oppose them, after all, Arthur was the authority when it came to electromagnetism.

As soon as his words fell, a knock suddenly sounded outside the office door.

Louis Bonaparte pushed open the door, and behind him stood an American boy with sailor red cheeks.

“Sir, Mr. Colt says he has something for you.”

Colt walked into the office, and without much ado, the American boy squared his hat, and simply and plainly took out a cowhide holster from the satchel at his waist and slapped it on Arthur’s desk, “Mr. Hastings, although the performance of this gun is not up to my ideal for the time being, since you’re in a hurry to use it, let’s just take it and make do with it for now. Although this is only a test piece, I assure you that even if it is technically immature for the time being, its effective range and convenience already exceeds or is at least on par with that Collier flintlock revolver of Mr. Jonesy’s.”

Arthur picked up the tan cowhide holster and removed the pistol inside; the wood grain of the mahogany stock looked as smooth as milk poured into a coffee cup, and the silver drum that fit snugly against the stock was thoughtfully engraved with the same brilliant St. Edward’s Crown insignia as on Arthur’s epaulettes. As for the hammer, Colt finally chose the perfume bottle design that he had agreed with Arthur, except that the style of this perfume bottle hammer was also very fancy, perhaps due to the fact that it had been specially ordered from the factory, and this part had been made into the image of a Scotland Yard police officer carrying a police officer’s knife in his hand.

Arthur leaned back in his office chair and pointed this gun out the window into the sunlight, the luster glistening and the silver-white drum imprinting his eyes and face with a slight reddish glow.

Arthur couldn’t help but exclaim, “What a masterpiece, Samuel, you’ve not only brought me good news, you’ve surprised me.”

Disraeli was also mesmerized by the beautifully shaped firearm, “This is a much cooler gun than Alexander’s. His long cherished Republican Thirteen Years may not even come close to it. Mr. Colt, what is the name of this gun?”

Colt heard the flattery of the two men and simply held his head high with pride, “Gentlemen, allow me to proudly present to you the latest masterpiece of master gunsmith Samuel Colt, the .55 caliber M1831 Hastings Special Rotary Pistol!”

(End of chapter)