Chapter 28: It’s All Farting

Chapter 28 – It’s All Farting
In a tavern by the docks, Arthur and the others had a few simple meals in front of them, some braised fruits, a plate of sliced, steaming bread fresh from the oven, plus heated bacon with a pot of coffee.

Elder and Darwin briefly exchanged some information about the Beagle, and incidentally instructed them on the subsequent precautions to be taken and the itinerary to be followed.

The conversation didn’t last long, and the three quickly digressed elsewhere.

Talking and laughing, one after another everyone quickly got acquainted, young people’s friendships always come so quickly.

Elder asked with a big grin, “I heard that you come from a medical family, and that your father and grandfather were both surgeons?”

Darwin picked up his teacup and took a sip of coffee, he nodded and said, “That’s right, our family has a clinic in Shrewsbury in Shawbushire that has been open for fifty or sixty years, and it is considered to be a bit famous in the area. My father originally planned to let me inherit the family business, which is why he sent me to Edinburgh University to study medicine before.”

Arthur took a loaf of bread and tore it open, slipped some bacon into it and took a gentle bite.

As he ate, he asked, “So how did you end up studying theology at Cambridge back there? Cambridge may be good, but Edinburgh isn’t any worse! David Hume, Adam Smith, Thomas Bayes, these resounding figures can all be graduates of Edinburgh University. It’s a pity you transferred to Cambridge, otherwise Edinburgh University would have another famous alumnus.”

Hearing this, Darwin hurriedly waved his hand and said, “Arthur, you flatter me too much. I am so far from those people you mentioned. I only dare to raise my head and look up to them, how would I dare to put myself together with them?”

Hearing this, Elder also rested one hand on the back of his chair and nodded his head in retort to Arthur.

“Exactly! Arthur, what is that you say? What do you mean Edinburgh University isn’t any worse than Cambridge, Edinburgh is clearly much better than Cambridge! Only fools go to Cambridge!”

Darwin visibly froze when he heard this.

Elder also realized his slip of the tongue, and he hurriedly clarified, “Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t mean to attack your alma mater. Cambridge is still a bit stronger than Oxford at the very least. Oxford’s graduates are randomly drawn ten dragged out of the target shooting, no one is wronged. In Cambridge, ten randomly selected graduates could still kill one or two good people by mistake.”

Arthur snickered, “Elder, you can’t kill like that. According to your standard of killing, then there will not be a few people left in the parliament, councillors seventy to eighty percent can be Oxbridge graduates.”

Elder pounded his fist on the tabletop, “Really? That’s great, with these people dead, the future of Britain will be bright.”

Darwin was puzzled, “Why do you have such a strong opinion about Oxford and Cambridge?”

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh, “Charles, it’s really not our fault. Who made these two schools keep flirting with the Parliament for not granting teaching charters to our schools.

You probably don’t know that although the University of London has been established for four years now, it hasn’t gotten a royal charter until now.

Look at Elder. He’s got a major-general’s uncle over him, but he’s still a cartographer on a ship. Unless you promote him to Admiral in situ now, his resentment won’t be so easily removed.”

Darwin couldn’t help but feel embarrassed when he heard this, and he rubbed the back of his head and said, “Really? I hadn’t realized that there was such a complicated relationship here.”

Arthur turned to ask, “By the way, you still haven’t told us why you transferred to Cambridge later.”

Darwin replied back, “I finished a semester at Edinburgh University and went home to help out at the clinic during the holidays, but I was a little too sick of the bloodshed involved in performing surgery. You probably don’t know how torturous it is to cut off a patient’s necrotic leg with a saw, I really can’t forget that scene for the rest of my life ……”

Speaking of this, Darwin couldn’t help but shiver, “After that operation, I never wanted to help out at the clinic again.

I preferred hunting, collecting minerals and specimens of flora and fauna to doing surgery, but my father thought these hobbies of mine were purely unprofessional.

But anyway, he also finally saw that I wasn’t cut out for the surgeon’s profession. He thought I was too idle and cowardly, while my mother thought it was a sign of a good heart that I didn’t want to go into surgery.

So the family finally decided unanimously to send me to Cambridge to read theology. On the one hand it would correct my thinking and on the other it would be in keeping with my good heart. Above all, my family thought that the job of a priest was very decent and well-paid.”

Arthur asked, “So after you finished theology, were your thoughts corrected?”

“Corrected?”

Darwin rolled his eyes as he waved his hand, “To hell with that! There was nothing wrong with me in the first place, what was corrected?
My family told me to study theology, and I did what they told me to do. But they wanted to change my hobbies, not a chance!
Not long after I entered college I joined the school’s Briney Society, a group of museum enthusiasts, and our leader was Prof. Robert Grant, a well known Lamarckian, and I received a lot of care and guidance from him, and later on I had the honor of joining their research group.

At Cambridge, I spent all my time outside of classes learning about museums.

On one occasion, I even went with a research team to Firth of Forth, where we studied the life cycles of marine animals in the intertidal zone.

After the event, I even presented a paper at the Briney Society about a common black object in oyster shells. Did you guys know that? That black object is not really a mystery creature, but the eggs of a leech.”

Elder was originally swaying his chair leisurely, but when he heard this, he couldn’t help but change his face and cover his mouth.

He cursed, “Fuck! Charles, why did you have to tell me this?”

Darwin scratched his head in disbelief, “What’s wrong with you?”

Arthur, on the other hand, smiled broadly and explained from the sidelines, “You don’t know, Elder loves oysters, especially the eggs of that leech in the oyster. He’s always telling me that it’s like eating pudding when you chew on that stuff and it pops.”

Elder covered his mouth and said angrily, “Arthur! Stop your fucking talking, I’m going to throw up!”

Arthur shrugged his shoulders, “Elder, I told you to eat less of that stuff because it’s neither clean nor sanitary.”

With that, Arthur also stood up and waved at the waiter, “Do you have oysters here? Remember to remove the eggs.”

Darwin also said in relief, “Elder, it’s okay to eat a little once in a while, that stuff is not poisonous.”

But Elder did not listen to the advice, he only felt uncomfortable all over.

He leaned over the table and cursed, “It’s not a question of whether it’s poisonous or not, it’s just too disgusting. Charles, only the French can swallow the eggs of leeches, after all, they even eat snails.”

Arthur didn’t bother to tease him anymore when he saw him in this state.

So he turned to Darwin and asked, “By the way, you said that you are a follower of Professor Grant, a Lamarckian, but I have heard that Lamarckians all advocate that organisms are constantly evolving. But you happen to be a priest, and priests usually say that human beings are God’s creatures, what do you think about that?”

Hearing this, Darwin couldn’t help but put down the bread in his hand, he first drew a cross on his chest, then lowered his voice and said to Arthur.

“I am a devout believer, I believe in God.”

“Yes?” Arthur was a little disappointed.

But immediately afterward, Darwin brought himself up to Arthur: “But what the priests say, it’s all bullshit!”

(End of chapter)