Chapter 377: The Furious Disraeli
Chapter 374 The Furious Disraeli
“You are a coward, a coward, you don’t deserve the Jewish people!”
“Wow, Mr. Disraeli, I take your statement at face value. And you are indeed far nobler than I am, an honorable Tory MP, an Anglo-Saxon to the bone, with noble British blue blood in your veins. Only what puzzles me is that most people inherit their blood from the material, whereas you, on the contrary, seem to have been purified from the spiritual.”
Alexandre Dumas looked at Disraeli and Heine who were bundled in two chairs and cursed each other in the air, and the always optimistic and heroic French fat man couldn’t help but feel a headache.
He rushed to Arthur and asked, “Shall we gag them again? Does Elder still have his socks?”
Arthur rested one hand on the backrest of the sofa and calmly sipped his tea, “Alexander, I’ve never been an advocate of letting others eat the same bitterness that I’ve eaten.”
As soon as Dumas heard this, he was instantly reminded of his encounter at the theater that day, and he couldn’t help but say sarcastically, “I can’t imagine that our Superintendent Hastings has such a humane side!”
“Of course.” To Dumas’ praise, Arthur took it at face value, “Our Scotland Yard police are all professionally trained. You can take a good look at the Metropolitan Police Act, Britain is supposed to be the most restrictive country in the world for police officers at the moment.”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s right, you don’t even have the power to control illegal publications. I mean, I hope you guys really don’t.”
No sooner had Dumas finished his words than he heard Disraeli’s end snarl, “I dare to stand up in Parliament and honorably proclaim my Jewish ancestry in front of all the members of Parliament, counting the glorious past of the Jewish people. And you, do you dare to do such a thing?”
“What is there to dare!”
“Publish underground?” As soon as Heine heard this, he could not help pursuing the question, “Why?”
He returned to the editing room and took out a random excerpt from Heine’s manuscript and recited, “As long as there is no food or drink, people can’t help but beat the drums with their fingers and play the Red Guillotine March. Then the nobles would again be dragged off to hang from streetlight poles.”
The censorship of Heine’s work had been left to Dumas, and the fat Frenchman spoke up and explained to him, “Heinrich, perhaps so much time has passed that you have forgotten what you wrote in the North Sea Collection.”
But Heinrich’s salvation lay in the fact that he was willing to bend a little for a while when he realized that he hadn’t yet secured a steady but well-paying job, as he had done when confronted by the great German publisher Kodak.
“Wow!” Heine heard this and returned with a slight mockery, “I almost forgot about that. After all, Germany is the world’s largest monarch breeding farm, and with their mating speed, I even think that in the future, the presidents and kings of South American countries will also be able to marry German princesses. If we do things according to Britannia’s business mindset, if the South American countries decide to marry six in one go, then we’ll give the seventh one away for free.”
Heine said disdainfully, “If you don’t believe me, you can come with me to the Palace of Westminster tomorrow.”
Arthur was also a bit unable to stand Heine’s successive salvos, and he took advantage of Disraeli’s moment of tranquility when he was caught up in thought to speak, “Heinrich, I can understand your ideals and ambitions. However, considering the current change in the situation in London, we are also considering whether or not to turn the second part of your Traveling Sketches, the North Sea Collection, into an underground publication. It just so happens that you are here today, so we intend to hear your opinion.”
All in all, the guy who was in his early thirties had a bit of an overactive ego.
While Heine, a German-Jew, was not content with the freedom of his dreams, he was content with the dreamy self that had become a fearless warrior.
When Tennyson heard this, he just coughed and warned carefully, “Sort of I beg you, Mr. Heine. If you were standing in the street with such nonsense, the police would have to ask you to tea.”
Once upon a time, the guys had always called him a narcissist, and Mr. Disraeli had admitted that he was sometimes confident to the point of being slightly flippant. But today, he’d finally identified a guy who was even more narcissistic than he was, and to make matters worse, the other guy didn’t seem to think he’d done anything wrong at all.
“How dare you?”
Heine asked with a frown, “What’s wrong with this paragraph? I’m talking about German nobles here.”
Arthur and Dumas on the side heard this and took out their handkerchiefs to cover their mouths to stop coughing.
If we switch to Talleyrand’s words, the average person is already hopeless if he is still like this when he reaches the age of thirty.
Disraeli, on the other hand, was already angry with the smoke on the top of his head: ”Why in Westminster? Wouldn’t you dare do such a thing in Prussia?”
Arthur returned, “I’m sorry, Heinrich, although this portrayal of yours is indeed vivid. However, our kings are also from Germany. And most of our princes marry princesses from the German states as well.”
Disraeli’s chest rose and fell violently when he heard this.
Heine returned in a serious manner, “I’m not stupid. If I did that, the police would have me arrested. There are a handful of people within Prussia who want to put me in the squad room, and I can’t just go along with their wishes so easily.”
Thinking of this, Disraeli suddenly understood why the group had often said-the French dominated the land, the English occupied the sea, and the Germans ruled the kingdom of the air.
Just as the German thinkers were always content to be free in their thoughts and in their dreams, without feeling at all that this was a German defect.
Heine looked at Arthur, then at the teapot in front of him and the rope on himself, and shrugged his shoulders back, “I’m just drinking, aren’t I?”
Arthur took the manuscript from Dumas and casually flipped to the marked page, “Of course, if you’d just said those words, The Englishman could have shrugged it off with the sayings you just mentioned when he was subpoenaed by the court. But this paragraph can be a bit serious.”
Arthur displayed the manuscript before Heine’s eyes, only to see it plainly written:
In the country of Hanover there is nothing else to be seen but genealogical trees, to which horses are tethered, and trees everywhere, so that the whole country is dark and hazy, and although there are innumerable horses, the country is not moving. The nobles of these places are very proud, but I do not blame them, for they have never been well educated. If the young nobles of Hanover had been better educated, they would have been spared many complaints.
But like father, like son, like father, like grandson, the young and the old here think equally absurdly, as if they were all the flowers of the world, and the others only weeds. Young and old do the same stupid thing, trying to cover up their own insignificance with the greatness of their ancestors.
As for the fools who are kings, they are no better than their subjects, if only they would remove their misleading disguise. The good thing about the French Revolution was that it put an end to the tyrannical rule of the kings of many small states in Germany, which was a great service to the divided Germany.
It makes me shudder to think that our Germans had to feed so many not only useless but harmful insects, even if today is probably the hottest day of the year in Germany. Excuse me, my dear readers and friends, please allow me to stop writing here, because I have to sneeze first ……
Achoo!
Arthur put the piece down and inquired earnestly, “Heinrich, don’t you realize that the king of Hanover is the same person as the king of Britain?”
“Knew it!”
“Then how can you tell the truth?”
Heine frowned as he glanced first at the embarrassed Dumas, then at the fidgety Tennyson, and finally dropped his gaze to Arthur’s face, and returned uncertainly, “I thought Britannia was allowed to tell the truth.”
Arthur nodded, “Of course Britain is allowed to tell the truth.”
Dumas followed up with, “But only a little, you’ll have to give us a little space.”
“Alexander, while you’re right, don’t interrupt.”
Arthur twisted his head toward Heine and re-emphasized, “Britannia can tell the truth, but that’s the problem we’re having right now, there are just too many writers of Britannia trying to tell the truth these days!”
Dumas scratched the side of his face, “That’s it in a nutshell. Heinrich, we’ve been a little short on slots lately. If you don’t mind scheduling, we can also help you publish in the main journal. Of course, to avoid unnecessary trouble, I’ll make certain deletions to the paragraph about the king.” Unexpectedly, Disraeli was so shocked to hear this that he hurriedly interrupted their conversation, “What? You are going to publish this sort of thing! Are you fellows afraid that Palmerston won’t be able to get a reason to counteract me?”
Hearing Disraeli mention Palmerston, Arthur couldn’t help but turn his head and ask, “Didn’t you fail to hand in that impeachment on him over Poland? How did you offend him?”
Disraeli rolled his eyes, “Although the Polish issue is now so big that I can’t speak directly. But the previously set plan to attack Viscount Palmerston, I don’t intend to give it up so early.
After all, if a newcomer like me wants to make a name for himself in the parliament, he has to pick on a few big names. The biggest figures in the cabinet are the Prime Minister, the Minister of Finance, the Minister of the Interior, the Minister of Foreign Affairs, and the Chancellor.
But attacking the Prime Minister, I don’t have that kind of weight right now. Attacking the Chancellor would obviously make things difficult for you. Attacking the Chancellor of the Exchequer, I’m still planning to get on the Exchequer port committee now. And attacking the Home Secretary would basically have to mention all the problems at Scotland Yard. So picking and choosing, I think it’s best to take on Palmerston, the Foreign Secretary.”
Dumas wondered, “But isn’t it impossible to mention the Polish question now? What else can you attack him with now?”
Disraeli said triumphantly, “It doesn’t matter if I can’t talk about Poland, I can talk about the Ottomans and Egypt! Hasn’t Palmerston always labeled himself tough? That’s why I urged him in the House of Commons that he should send troops as soon as possible, so that on the one hand we can defend our commercial interests in Ottoman, and on the other hand we can avenge the defeat of our intervening army by Ali in Alexandria harbor in 1807.”
“And did Palmerston agree?”
“Agreed? Of course he didn’t agree. The devil knows why he was so hesitant on the question of the Ottoman-Egyptian war. If his reluctance to intervene in the Polish question was due to fear of worsening diplomatic relations with the Russians, I could understand that. But to be so hesitant about Egypt as well, was he worried about worsening relations with Ali?
It is important to realize that Ali had a dedicated corps of French officers in his army, and that his troops were trained to the full French standard. Was he not afraid that after Egypt’s defeat of the Ottomans, French power would grow in North Africa?
I was not the only one in the House of Commons who could not figure out why this was so; even some of the Whig MPs did not know what Palmerston was really doing. If you ask me, he must have taken money from Ali, or he wouldn’t be able to explain this at all.”
Speaking of which, Disraeli couldn’t help but brag about his brilliant battle in the House of Commons today.
“You guys really should have been on the MP’s sidelines today, it was a classic battle since I became an MP. Palmerston couldn’t open his mouth at all when I refuted him, he was even green in the face when he stepped down from the stage after being questioned, hahaha! The Earl of Lyndhurst and the others also praised my performance and said that this great victory almost overshadowed all the negative effects of my disastrous maiden speech.”
He could not help improvising a copy of his own opening speech in the House of Commons, which had won a full house.
“Viscount Palmerston, as perhaps everyone likes to call you. But in view of the fact that you have always flaunted your noble Anglo-Saxon blood, I shall then follow the Anglo-Saxon method and address you affectionately as pam.
The reason I call you that is to show that I bear you no ill will as a person. Besides, pam sounds kinda rhymes with sham (shame), flam (fraud), and scram (fuck off) when put together.”
Dumas couldn’t help but smile and give a thumbs up in praise, “The House of Commons really isn’t a place for the virtuous, if I were in that kind of place, I would probably have drawn my gun long ago.”
Arthur said calmly, “That’s the reason we don’t allow MPs to carry guns and swords during meetings.”
Dumas’ leg rested on the coffee table, not really caring, “But aren’t they still allowed to duel when they’re out of the doors of Parliament? Didn’t the Duke of Wellington have a pistol duel with the Marquis of Winchelsea last year over the Catholic Emancipation Act?”
“Actually, theoretically, the Duke of Wellington was Prime Minister at the time, and the Marquis of Winchelsea was also a member of the House of Lords, so this duel of theirs was illegal.”
Dumas sniffed derisively, “Then why didn’t Scotland Yard go and arrest the old man?”
Arthur shrugged with his teacup, “You tell me. I didn’t see the French gendarmes out in force when Napoleon took the throne either! That event was of a far more serious nature than the Duke of Wellington having a duel.”
Dumas said with wide eyes, “That’s because I wasn’t there! If I had been there, I would have absolutely rushed to the armory at the first opportunity.”
If someone else had said this, Arthur would have just thought he was talking out of his ass, but when Dumas said this, Arthur could only be convinced. After all, people had really done this once.
Arthur nodded his head and said, “Alexander, this is the reason I invited you to join Scotland Yard. You’re good enough for 30,000 tons of explosives on your own.”
Seeing the two of them chatting away, Disraeli anxiously rushed to ask about the illegal publications that had been talked about earlier.
Arthur and the others first briefly shared with him about The Red and the Black and The Sacrifice of the Forefathers.
Then they took out the manuscript of The Red and the Black for him to look over.
Unexpectedly, Disraeli had just finished reading a quarter of it, especially when he saw the part where Yu Lian hooked up with the mayor’s wife, the Jewish boy’s face had already turned red.
He angrily turned his head and rushed at Dumas and questioned, “What Stendhal! Alexander, I think this book is written by your kid! I treat you as a friend, and you actually treat me like this? Didn’t we agree that there are things that you know and I know, and that no one else would know? But now, what’s with this book!”
“Benjamin, I really didn’t write this book.”
“Do you think I’m going to take your word for it? Now just writing about Mr. Carter’s experiences doesn’t satisfy you anymore does it? Of course, I’m not against you adapting my experiences, but the least you can do is fix me up a bit like you did Mr. Carter! What do you think Mrs. Sykes would think of me if she saw this?”
No matter how Dumas explained it, Disraeli didn’t believe it, he just felt as if he was a replica of Yulian England.
In particular, Mrs. Sykes’ experience of taking the initiative to hook up with the Earl of Lyndhurst in order to help him realize his desire to set foot in politics and match the two of them made him even more convinced that Alexandre Dumas was pulling out The Red and the Black to make complete fun of him.
He adamantly refused to publish The Red and the Black, and even threatened to report it to Parliament if he found it in circulation on the market.
Mr. Disraeli insisted that this kind of impropriety was long overdue!
When Heine saw this, he simply whistled and shrugged his shoulders at the group, “Gentlemen, it seems that you have now found the man behind the obstruction of freedom of publication.”
Seeing that Disraeli was actually stubborn like this, Arthur also had to loosen up superficially and said, “Alright, Benjamin, you’re the majority shareholder, you have the final say in publishing matters.”
Dumas was quite a bit dissatisfied, “But …… Benjamin, I have to be frank with you. Even if we don’t publish this book, other publishers will consider it. The Second Paris Literary Agency considered several publishers, it’s just that due to me, they first recommended The Red and the Black to The Englishman.
Topical books like these always sell well. Think about it, Parliament has been vigorously censoring erotic literature for more than a century, but I haven’t had any trouble finding leaks in Elder’s bookcase!”
“Isn’t that just right?!”
Disraeli huffed back, “If Blackwood’s dares to publish this stuff, I’ll be sure to bankrupt them while I’m at it!”
“Okay.”
Arthur and Dumas exchanged glances, and the two of them spoke heartily, “I think Blackwood’s should publish it.”
Disraeli had just subsided, when he suddenly remembered the purpose of the trip.
He shouted, “Damn it! Arthur, untie me quickly! I didn’t come all the way to the editorial office to argue with you; you’ve got to come with me to the Central Board of Health. The members of the House of Commons Committee on Public Works are waiting for you and me there, too.”
“Well ……,” said Arthur, taking an unhurried sip of his cigarette, “what do they want with me?”
“What else could it be for?” Disraeli spoke up, “For that two hundred thousand pounds worth of Liverpool Urban Renewal Bonds, of course!”
(End of chapter)