Chapter 289: The Grumpy Germanic Poet (K4)

Chapter 288 The Grumpy German Poet (5K4)

In the early morning in London, there was still a light rain as fine as silk as usual.

London Southwark, the streets of Doughty Street, hard riding boots stepped on the pools of stagnant water between the cracks of the bricks, splashing a burst of water.

Hard cowhide thigh-high boots, tight buckskin riding breeches, and a just-right hourglass slim-fit blue and black frou-frou jacket, a belt with a silver buckle, and a cream-colored vest paired with a dark black linen shirt with a floral frill and bow tie.

The soft white gloves were gently lifted upwards, and the black cloth umbrella was slightly tipped up, revealing the pair of black eyes with a reddish aura hidden underneath the umbrella and the high top hat.

Arthur had a pipe in his mouth, and three or two clouds of white air came out of the tip of his nose every now and then, making it impossible to tell whether the main ingredient in it was water vapor or nicotine.

Accompanying Arthur was none other than his French police secretary, who, perhaps because he had only joined Scotland Yard a short time ago, had not yet passed the stage of his love for police uniforms. Even though Arthur had requested to travel in plain clothes today, Louis Bonaparte wore a garment similar to his usual duty uniform.

The only difference between his attire today and his normal day might be that he had traded in his Scotland Yard dark blue tuxedo for a dark black one.

The two of them made small talk as they took their steps.

Louis smiled, “Sir, you ……”

Before Louis could finish his words, he saw Arthur waving his hand, “Although it’s working hours now, we’re not in Scotland Yard, and this is a plainclothes operation, so you don’t need to call me sir, just call me Arthur. You know, I love making friends with people, and although I already have a fat Frenchman as a friend, I wouldn’t mind making another thin one. Ensuring biodiversity is not only important for the planet, but also for friends.”

“All right then, Arthur.”

Louis skimmed his lips and smiled, “But isn’t it too much for you to use the word biodiversity to describe making friends, although I don’t mind joking around with my friends, there are some people who can’t stand such jokes. Unless …… you normally make friends with monkeys?”

Arthur nodded expressionlessly with his pipe in his mouth, “Louis, it seems that you have become a qualified detective. Perhaps in a short while, I will be able to consider handing you some case investigation work from the Criminal Crime Investigation Department. I have to say, you are still quite talented in being a police officer.”

Louis laughed and asked, “Arthur, you haven’t answered me yet, could you really make friends with monkeys? You guys shouldn’t have met at the London Zoo?”

Arthur stopped his steps violently when he heard this, and he took a deep breath, “Louis ……”

“Why.”

“Don’t just nickname my alma mater!”

Louis was surprised, “Huh? I know that the University of London has a very broad educational philosophy, but does it actually admit monkeys there? How did it get in?”

“I don’t know, maybe because the cage in the lower courtyard wasn’t closed securely. But what’s the big deal about monkeys going to college, monkeys as a species have always been industrious, and they’ll even teach themselves Polish if they have to.”

To support his assertion, Arthur did not forget to draw from his bosom the copy of “The Amazing Journey of Bernie Harrison” which Martin had given him.

He slipped the book into Louie’s hand and spoke, “See, monkeys can write books.”

Louis Bonaparte didn’t react at first, but when he saw Bernie Harrison’s name, he burst out laughing, and he opened his mouth to ask, “If that’s the case, why don’t you recruit a monkey to publish a novel in The Cockney? Arthur, haven’t you been complaining about the lack of authors?”

Hearing this, Arthur just sipped his cigarette, “We did used to have one, but he went back home to South America a while ago.”

“Old home in South America?”

Arthur heard Louie’s question and knew that the question couldn’t be continued.

At this time, The Englishman was trying to find ways to build up Elder’s glorious image in Britain, and this carefully woven ‘well-intentioned’ lie couldn’t come out of his mouth without a fight.

Arthur shot a glance at Louis’ clothing and changed the subject, “What? Aren’t you tired of the Scotland Yard uniform yet? Even when it comes to civilian clothes, you just picked one in a similar style and a different color. Do you have a particular penchant for uniforms?”

Louis shook his head and laughed, “It’s not really a special hobby. But I think the quality of the uniforms is usually good, and the color palette and style looks beautiful. Do you know why so many soldiers wanted to serve Napoleon? In addition to their admiration for him, being able to have a decent, handsome uniform to wear as a soldier is also a very important consideration.

In Napoleon’s time, a most common French infantryman’s full body clothing is worth 250 francs, if you become a cavalryman, it is even more impressive, that a direct run to 500 francs. If he became a heavy dragoon or a close-guard, the cost of a full suit was 2,000 francs.

Take the old guard and cavalry of the French Empire, the most elite and trusted by my uncle, how many uniforms do you think they have?”

Arthur thought for a moment and casually quoted, “Five sets?”

“Five sets? Counting you as half right, the old close guard does have five sets. But the close-guard cavalrymen are ten sets.”

Louis was not without pride, “Combat uniforms, marching uniforms, field uniforms, regular uniforms, duty uniforms, stable uniforms, social uniforms, civilian uniforms, parade uniforms, grand parade dresses, all of these are individually separated. And each regiment has its own distinctive costume, which is the same as yours in Britain; the Fifth Regiment is a white blouse with lemon yellow weave and sky-blue breeches, while the Seventh Regiment wears a green blouse with daffodil yellow weave and scarlet breeches.

As a rule, monarchs are very particular about the dress and grooming of their soldiers, as was Frederick III. of Prussia, Alexander I. of Russia, and George IV. of Great Britain, and my uncle was one of the leading monarchs. Comparatively speaking, however, the uniforms of France were more rationally designed than those of other countries. The uniforms of Britain emphasized aesthetics a little too much, so that the tops were designed to be really too tight for some soldiers to even put on, let alone operate a musket.

But I can’t criticize Britain too much when it comes to uniforms; after all, although George IV was obsessed with beautiful uniforms, the Duke of Wellington corrected him in time, protesting to the king that ‘the soldiers can’t even breathe in such clothes, how can they fight in wars like this’. And it was not as if Britain was the most aesthetically pleasing of the Antifa allies at the expense of practicality.

I heard my uncle tell how, at the Battle of Austerlitz, Grand Duke Konstantin, commander of the Royal Russian Close Cavalry, ordered his regiment to dismount two miles from the battlefield and recuperate by cleaning their uniforms, then powdering their hair and replacing them with new saddles that had just arrived from St. Petersburg. Although this may seem superfluous, it must be admitted that it may also have stimulated their fighting spirit.

In the snowy skies of Austerlitz, the defeat of the Antifa allied army was already inevitable, but this Tsar’s close-guard cavalry showed a respectable will to fight, and they fought to the very end until they were almost completely annihilated.”

After listening to this passage, Arthur nodded slightly and said, “Very wonderful story. However, Louis …… it would be better if you could save that story for later, the gentleman we are about to meet should enjoy them.”

Louis Bonaparte frowned, “Are you …… Arthur, the gentleman you speak of, a Bonapartist like Mr. Bertrand? Is he also a Frenchman?”

Arthur exhaled his cigarette, “If he is a Francophile, then this is probably not so complicated. Louis, I must say, the name Napoleon, apart from being unpopular with the Britons, is quite well respected in the rest of Europe. There are many Poles, Italians and Belgians who support him. But the gentleman we are to meet today is not from those three regions.”

Hearing this, Louis Bonaparte guessed the answer almost immediately, “Then I think, that gentleman is mostly a German?”

Arthur nodded, “To be precise, he is a German Jew, and also a converted Jew like Benjamin. It is that Düsseldorf-born expert on screwing up – Mr. Heinrich Heine – that we are visiting today.”

“Heine?” Louis Bonaparte pondered for a moment, “I seem to have heard that name somewhere.”

Arthur spoke up, “His Collected Poems are selling well all over Europe, and you’ve probably read three or two lines in the papers. My heart and mind are like the waves of the sea, and deep nostalgia tugs at my heart. Ah! how I miss you, your delicate figure!”

Louis’ eyes lit up, “Did he originally write this one? I have to say, this poem really has a bit of Byron’s feeling.”

Arthur sniffed and agreed, “I think so too. Heine is like Lord Byron’s spiritual heir, but unfortunately, he inherited only half of it, just like the coronation of our new king.”

“What does that mean?” Arthur returned, “We have all read Lord Byron’s verses, and we are all aware of his chaotic private life that could make up hundreds of operas. Lord Byron is a man who on one hand is angry, belligerent, and bursts like fire, and on the other hand, he is sentimental and sometimes weepy.”

Louis smiled at this and asked, “But that’s not much of a disadvantage, after all, he’s a poet, aren’t all poets like that? I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

Arthur returned, “Louis, you misunderstand me, I didn’t intend to speak ill of Lord Byron. I just think that although Mr. Heine bears some resemblance to Lord Byron, his inheritance of Byron is only half as good; he doesn’t like to cry and wail; he’s just plain angry and belligerent, like a powder keg at the slightest point.”

“Wow ……” Louis raised his eyebrows, “Sounds pretty tough to deal with. But if he’s so hard to deal with, what are we doing touching him? Is he guilty of something?”

Arthur sniffed, and instead of giving an account of Lionel Rothschild’s conversation with him on the golf course that day, he muddled back, “Like I said earlier, Mr. Heine is a dangerous man. Although I don’t know why he came to London, in order to prevent him from doing anything out of the ordinary in Britain, I think it’s safer to better feel him out first, and that’s the scope of the Police Intelligence Bureau’s duties, isn’t it?”

Louis asked curiously, “So what exactly has he done that’s out of the ordinary?”

Arthur didn’t say anything, he just fished a newspaper clipping out of his pocket and handed it over.

Louis took the clipping, it was a newspaper from Paris, familiar and affectionate French but written in words that were too much to bear.

–I have heard everyone clamoring for their love of liberty, and I have heard it in every city I have passed through, and in every country I have stayed in. At first I was so energized by this phenomenon that I felt as if people all over the world were on my side. But the longer I stayed in these countries, the more I realized that although everyone says they love freedom, they love it in different ways. The Englishman loves freedom like he loves his lawful wife, usually the Englishman doesn’t care about her, but if anyone dares to reach out, then they are going to fight with whoever it is. And the French love freedom is like a lover, want to get up when passionate as fire, can not wait to get together with her every day, not interested in the unheard of, as if they never knew the woman. As for the Germans, everyone knows that the Germans are very much attached to tradition, and that the Germans love liberty like our old grandmother who has passed away, and who does not usually think of it, but when she does think of it, she cries a great deal!
–Prussia says: Pay your taxes according to our tax laws, and you have a materially united German fatherland. But I am a strange person; I preferred to have the German states united in spirit as well. At that moment, I heard the Austrian Prime Minister Metternich shouting: “You don’t have to worry about that at all, we will take care of the spiritual unification, because Austria will be responsible for the censorship!
Louis saw here had already tensed up, but when his eyes moved to the bottom, the repressed smile finally could not be hidden, he then stood in the drizzly streets of London holding his stomach and laughed out loud, even the black cloth umbrella fell to the ground.

The last of the clippings floated from his hand to the ground, and on it was a recent piece of poetry by Mr. Heine.

Lamentations.

By Heinrich Heine
Because of this.

I stayed a long time.
I lingered in foreign lands.
I waited for the girl I loved.
I waited until I was in the church, to see her in her wedding dress.

Fuck it, I’m not the groom!
She was a delicate violet.

“that shines in my memory.

This wild girl! I can’t believe I never got my hands on her!
How could I have been so stupid?

Arthur stopped and looked at Louis Bonaparte, who couldn’t stop laughing, and also cupped his chin to savor the rest of that poetry.

He muttered to himself, “Not to mention, this ‘Lament’ makes me think for the first time that Eldad isn’t that far from being a great poet.”

Just as he was muttering, he looked up and suddenly realized that there was a snide argument coming from the front of the inn ahead of him.

It was a typical Britannian landlubber with a bottle in his hand and a gray felt hat on his head, and a brown-haired young man dressed in head-to-toe black, with only his shirt white.

The groundhog was seen whistling, raising his head and sneering, “Hey! You know what? I was exploring the Caribbean a while back and I found an island that was surprisingly devoid of Jews and donkeys! Strange you say.”

The brown-haired young man looked flat, “I don’t think it’s strange, I just feel a little sorry for it.”

“Hmm?” The groundhog raised an eyebrow, “Why regret.”

The youth spoke, “An island is incomplete without a Jew and a donkey, so why don’t you and I go to this island together to make up for this lack. I can leave this afternoon, I just wonder, when will you be able to spare the time?”

The landlubber’s eyes widened when he heard this, “You …… you Yid, how dare you insult me?”

“I insulted you?” The youth raised his head condescendingly and said, “It is you who see yourself as too flat, I almost forgot to ask you, why do you want to go to the right place to be a donkey?”

Groundhog raised the bottle of wine to scare, “You …… you bastard …… do you think I dare not give you some color?”

The youth shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t care, he pointed at the bottle in the other’s hand, and then pointed at his own head, “Yeah, that’s right, just use that bottle and give me a hard time here! I’ve been worrying about how to look like an authentic Briton, but you’ve given me an idea, you see, my hair is still quite thick, one bottle from you, I guess I’m not far from being an authentic Briton.”

The youth’s provocation obviously enraged the landlubber, he copied the bottle and was about to ruthlessly smash it down on the youth’s head, but before he could strike, his wrist was clutched by someone in a deadly grip.

The ground ruffian turned around to see that there was a robust gentleman a head taller than him behind him at some point, and he even had a follower behind his ass.

Arthur squeezed the gangster’s wrist with one hand, the other hand unhurriedly reached into his pocket and drew out the civilization staff inserted into his belt, he held the civilization staff and waved it in front of the ground ruffian: “Recognize this?”

The ground gangster froze for a moment, then swallowed heavily and nodded slowly.

Arthur asked again, “Then you should know what I do, right?”

Rain slapped on the face of the landlubber, mixed with beads of sweat flowed down from the side of his face, a drop snapped on the ground: “Of course, sir, you …… you have put the lobster pincers out, I …… I still can not know what you are doing?”

Arthur nodded slightly, “Now that you know what I do for a living, I’d like to ask you, what do you do for a living?”

“I …… “Groundhog squeezed a smile on his face, “You’re new here, aren’t you? All the old people in this area know me, I’m Hansen who picks up horse manure on Doughty Street, and I’m a legitimate businessman. It’s raining today, isn’t it? There’s no horse manure on the road either, so I thought I’d just find a random gentleman to talk to, and then I’ll have to start working when this shower passes.”

Louis saw this and fished a penny out of his pocket and stuffed it into the landlubber’s hand, “Mr. Hansen, then please go find a tavern down the road and have a drink to warm up. It’s windy and cold on the road, but it’s easy to get sick standing in the street talking.”

Hearing this, the landlubber hurriedly went along and said, “Wow! Thank goodness, how could I run into such kind gentlemen like you two today. I’ll listen to you, I’ll get out of here right away, I think at times like this, I do need a glass of wine to warm up my thumping little heart.”

Arthur spread his hands and the landlubber squeezed the penny like a scattered rabbit and ran off without looking back.

Arthur looked at his disappearing back and was about to greet the brown-haired young man, when unexpectedly the other man spoke before him.

The young man surveyed the two of them, and then looked up at the sky, he finally extended his hand in a friendly manner and said, “Thank you both for your eagerness to help. Now that the donkey has gone to the water trough to fill up with horse urine, for the sake of you making him stop braying, although it’s a bit early in the day, but if you don’t have any work to be busy with, why don’t I buy you two a drink as well?”

Arthur asked, “Horse piss?”

The youth nodded, “Yes, the most authentic. The only thing I can guarantee is that the one we drink will definitely have a better flavor than the donkey’s.”

Thanks to the alliance owner Sunceol’s reward, the alliance owner plus more will be sent in the next two days.

(End of chapter)