Chapter 250: The Light and Strange of the Nineteenth Century (K)
Chapter 249 The Light and Strange of the Nineteenth Century (4K)
The Plummer of Napoleon’s Rouen Landing? Possible French Spies at the West India Docks!
The Shocker! The Battle of Waterloo at Regent’s Crescent, Napoleon Bonaparte Captured Again!
“In the heat of the summer, Scotland Yard has brought a great military victory to the great British public!
Londoners joked that the London Police were as good as the Royal Closely Guided Bombardiers, and that perhaps Parliament could consider a discretionary cut in the Army’s military spending.
“Rear Admiral Thomas Cochrane, who has just succeeded his father, the Earl of Dundonald, in the House of Lords, enthused that the Londoner’s suggestion was very forward thinking.
The War Office responds: “Cochrane, you piece of shit!
According to a certain official inside source, the nephew of Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of the First French Empire and cannibalistic devil, Charles Louis Napoleon Bonaparte, secretly entered London on a merchant ship of the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies at the West India Docks in the early morning of the day before yesterday and was ‘warmly welcomed’ by the working people of the East End.
At noon that day, Scotland Yard received a report of a kidnapping with many witnesses in the East End, and the head of the Criminal Crime Investigation Department of the Greater London Police Department, the star of London policing – Superintendent Arthur Hastings – immediately ordered that a team led by Superintendent Claydon Jones of Whitechapel Police Station of the Metropolitan Police Force of London should immediately conduct a Fred’s Crime Syndicate to carry out a siege and successfully rescued Mr. Louis Bonaparte, who was receiving ‘fiery hospitality’.
However, after the investigation afterwards, Scotland Yard found that Mr. Louis Bonaparte lacked the passport as well as nationality and identity documents necessary for entry. Therefore, after submitting the relevant documents and obtaining the approval of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the Judiciary, Scotland Yard carried out a second arrest of Mr. Louis Bonaparte, who was a guest at the Regent’s Crescent.
After the incident, our reporter interviewed several senior officers of Scotland Yard as well as the honorable police officers who participated in the arrest.
Superintendent William Mitchell, ‘bloody’ discharged from the 11th Royal Infantry Regiment, said that it was the first time he had been engaged with the French again since he had been wounded at the Battle of Salamanca and sent home for treatment. What is clear, however, is that this time the victory came far more easily than the Battle of Salamanca, and in retrospect, Marshal Marmont, who led the French army in the Battle of Salamanca, wasn’t all that bad.
On the other hand, Superintendent Joseph Matherin obviously disagreed with Superintendent William Michel’s opinion, he thought that compared with Marmont, the French Marshal Soult who commanded the French army to participate in the Battle of Alvuera was at a higher level, incidentally, at that time, the 57th Royal Infantry Regiment, which belonged to Superintendent Joseph Matherin, the ‘Diehard’ belonged to the 2nd Division which participated in the battle. the battle, the 2nd Division, which at the time was under the command of Major General William Stewart.
And Superintendent Michel sneered back: “The 2nd Division swam but did not strike at the Battle of Busaco, and even more so during the Iberian Peninsula campaign of 1811-1812, when it spent most of the time lost, always on the march, never reaching its destination, and don’t you have any idea of who you’re talking about? As for the battle of Alvuera, you also have the cheek to take it out to blow, how I heard that the French servants of the Polish gun cavalry at the time of a charge to crush your flanks? To be taken out by a cavalry charge with 1,248 men, we ‘Bloody’ can’t fight like that.”
For his part, Superintendent Matherin argued, “It is important to see our spirit of vowing not to retreat! Don’t forget how we got the nickname 57th Regiment, we’re just diehard!”
Superintendent Mitchell agreed, “Indeed, the men are all dead and the bodies are hardened.”
After that, the two superintendents had a cordial and friendly exchange, and finally, under the mediation of Superintendent George Mosley, who was retired from the 5th Royal Close Guard Infantry Regiment ‘Wellington Guards’, the two superintendents finally calmed down.
When asked by a reporter why this operation against the French was far easier than Waterloo, Superintendent Mosley responded, “I think it is due to the difference in the personal level of the commanders in command on both sides. It is true that the Duke of Wellington was the most outstanding army general in the history of Britain, but Napoleon was also an unparalleled wizard, so the scorching at Waterloo was understandable. But in the case of this arrest, it was clear that there was a gap in class, in terms of ability, between an experienced police star like Superintendent Hastings and a junior like Mr. Louis Bonaparte, who was wanted by the Apennine nations. That is why this arrest and the previous rescue operation were so powerful. Finally, I would like to thank the community for their interest in our policing work, and we will continue to uphold the fine British tradition of ‘the police are the public, and the public are the police’ to provide firm and strong protection for the lives and property of the citizens of London!”
Arthur sat in his office, reading line by line the major London newspapers that were brand new today.
His eyes shifted slightly downward, and in an instant he found another new line.
Marriage wanted: I am twenty-one years old, male, six feet tall, sunny and handsome ……
When Arthur saw this, he couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows and complimented, ”Benjamin is quite efficient, only a few days ago I talked to him about this, and today it’s already posted everywhere. In that case, I’m afraid that the sales of the next issue of The Englishman are going to go up dramatically.”
As soon as Arthur’s words fell, he saw the Red Devil walking in with a suitcase in his hand, wearing a large brimmed hat and whistling as he walked straight through the office door.
Seeing him in this state, Arthur raised his hand in greeting, “Good morning, Agareth, are you enjoying your vacation?”
Hearing this, the Red Devil ruffled his suitcase towards his desk and nonchalantly lifted the teapot to pour himself a full cup into his mouth, “The beaches of Portsmouth are barely passable, but the Officers’ Mess at the Royal Naval Base doesn’t come close to tasting as good as the one at St. James’s Palace.”
Hearing this, Arthur leaned back in his chair and spoke, “It’s not bad to have something to eat, a devil, and you’re still so picky. If I remember correctly, didn’t you say you used to live next to Barr’s Cesspool Restaurant? You can swallow even in that kind of environment, and dining in the officers’ cafeteria is still an offense to you?”
Hearing this, the Red Devil slammed his cup down on the table and glared and cursed, “Barr? If you don’t say Barr I almost forgot about what happened just now! Arthur, you kid better be careful, I found out that the power of that omnivore Barr has possibly invaded Britannia!”
Arthur took out his handkerchief and wiped the tea on the table while asking, “What? You found a specialty in London?”
“No!” Agareth clapped his hands together in terror, “You know what I just found when I was passing by the Thames! I fucking saw two men rescuing a man overboard!”
Arthur nodded slightly in affirmation, “Isn’t that nice? I seem to have remembered when you mentioned it, I think there’s some new civic group that’s been formed recently called …… well …… right, the Save the Thames Drowners Association! Look at it, helping each other out and promoting their swimming prowess, if there were more enthusiastic people like that among the citizens of London, our job at Scotland Yard would be a lot easier. Agareth, I know you’ve always had a low opinion of mankind, but you can’t see any good in others at all, can you?”
Agareth shook his head, “Little shit! I’m not guilty of being jealous of a good deed like saving a man overboard! But do you know what they did after they rescued the man? Those two men actually took a bong and a pipe out of the first aid kit they had with them.”
Arthur lifted up his teacup and said, “After they did such a great deed and saved a life, it shouldn’t be too much to ask for a smoke to slow them down, right?” “Is that a fucking puff? Don’t you ever ask about pipes?”
Arthur looked at him in such a hurry, he had to reluctantly comply, “Okay, what’s the pipe for?”
Agareth grabbed his face with both hands, almost tearing himself into a mask of pain, “O my King Solomon! After those two men took out the pipe and the pipe, one of them lit a fire and smoked a cigarette, while the other took off the drowned man’s pants and disliked the pipe into his ass, and then the other one took a puff and exhaled into the pipe, and took a puff and exhaled into it. My thousands of years of experience was shattered by them in just ten minutes, like spilled glass all over the floor!”
When Arthur heard this, his tea-drinking action also stopped, he stared at Agares for a long time before he put down his tea cup, and after another moment of silence, he then asked, “And you watched for ten minutes?”
The Red Devil was first stunned, then he cursed angrily, “Arthur! You figure out what the point is for me! This kind of behavior is not something that ordinary humans can do, this is definitely the erosion of Baal’s filthy power for the earth, if you stupid humans don’t pay attention, you’ll soon be able to eat small snacks just like him! I saw the dumbass who spit smoke rings into a pipe almost take a big bite today! Well …… can’t say that though, maybe that’s what he’s up to?”
Arthur had also been considering this question posed by Agareth when the rest of his eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of an advertisement in the newspaper.
He first froze for a moment, then immediately pointed at the printed picture on the newspaper and asked, “Is that what you saw today?”
Agares looked down, where it was clearly written – Intestinal Smoke Therapeutic Apparatus, Smoke Therapy for Various Diseases, Unanimously Recommended by Hundreds of Doctors in London, Field Validated by Save the Thames Drowning Victims’ Association, and Has Saved Dozens of Unfortunate Drowning Victims’ Lives So Far.
Agareth stared at the paper for half a day, first with a moment of dawdling, then a hint of skepticism, but at the end of the day it dissolved into a warm, kindly smile, “Wow, my dear Arthur, wouldn’t you consider buying one? Freshen your breath in your gut?”
“Sorry, not interested.”
“But the papers say it’s a good idea, look at it, dozens of lives saved, it’s a machine of immense merit, I’d call it the greatest invention of the nineteenth century! Look at you, the tobacco pipes are all ready-made, you just buy a machine.”
“Didn’t you just say it was a conspiracy of Baal, an invasion of hell? Change your mind so quickly? Agareth, you’re a learned devil, don’t you have any idea if blowing smoke rings up your ass will save lives? I bet those guys did artificial respiration in addition to blowing smoke rings into the fallen, didn’t they?”
“Whoa! My dear Arthur, if you don’t believe me, you have to believe the doctor, don’t you? Damn! What an incomparable nineteenth century, the previous eighteen centuries of mankind had been wasted, and there was no better contraption than the crucifixion of Jesus! How in the world did they come up with such an earth-shattering new invention?”
“Agareth, I think it’s really worth considering whether nineteenth century doctors should be trusted or not.”
“Arthur, you’re being anti-intellectual!”
“I’m happy with that, and it doesn’t take much of a brain to work at Scotland Yard anyway, just obey.”
“Don’t you think you’re so progressive? Why so resistant to new things?”
“Don’t you give me any high hats, a while back Scotland Yard was called an authoritarian gendarme by the news media. As for you, Agareth, what kind of vindictiveness is this? What you’ve suffered, someone else has to go through it too? We don’t fashion that sort of thing here.”
“Eh! Arthur, you fucking ……”
Arthur glanced at him and continued to amble on, “Agareth, you’ve gone to a lot of trouble to get me a hot bite. But thank goodness Alexander didn’t actually fall into the Thames. This thing you stumbled upon today, I’ll have to go back and tell him about it so he knows that it’s not only possible to fall into the river and drown when you’re drunk, but it’s even possible to tear your sphincter.”
Seeing that Arthur wasn’t taking the bait, Agareth quickly lost interest in messing with him as he leaned against the edge of his desk and spoke, “This is so boring, you little shit really don’t have a sense of humor.”
“If eating such ‘sandwich morsels’ can be called humor in the devil’s context, then I am indeed inferior to you.”
“Arthur! I don’t have that kind of interest.”
“I try to believe you.”
Seeing that he could not get an advantage in this respect, Agareth could only subside, and he twisted off the lid of the candy jar, and was about to eat a piece of candy to relieve the awkwardness, as he usually did.
Unexpectedly, Arthur’s hand snapped on the lid, and his whole body stood up, an indescribable dislike in his expression, “Did you wash your hands?”
The red devil first froze, he was about to get angry, but he heard the sound of deng deng deng deng knocking on the door from behind.
Sheriff Field, who was holding the documents, pushed the door in and whispered, “Sir, Sir Peel has just sent someone to the hall, he asked if you have the time now, he wants to talk to you about the vinyl record.”
Just as Sergeant Field’s words were finished, the knock on the door sounded again, and Tony came into the room in a flurry of activity and spoke, “Arthur, the autopsy report from the Royal Medical Association’s side has come in, and there seems to be some general misgivings on the part of the doctors as to the cause of the maid, the victim’s death. They believe that there may be other possibilities besides drowning.”
(End of chapter)